A few thoughts..

I was up late reading a woman's blog who is also pregnant with her third child.  It made me think about this pregnancy and some of the thoughts that have been swirling around in my head lately.  I am 35 weeks pregnant.  If this baby were to follow the pattern from James to Katelynn, I would be in the hospital in the next 24 hours holding a brand new 5 week early baby trying to enjoy and remember all of the first days that I can with our new babe.  And I would know what I am having and we would HAVE TO decide on a name, something that has been very hard this time around.

I also was thinking about my pregnancies and the similarities between them.  I start getting sick around 9 weeks. And I am sick, not so sick that I need an IV or that I go to the hospital, but sick enough that I wonder if I will make it(or my family for that matter) through the next 13 weeks or so until the nausea subsides.   I think about how many months that is and tell myself, if I can make it through August I will be okay and that month always seems SO far away.  I wonder if I will be able to do everything that is required of me-mainly make sure my other children are fed, diapered and at least in clothes throughout the day.  And I am tired.  I start to feel better around week 20 and have a good little while.  Sometime towards the end, I start getting sick again.  But this time of being sick I know will end much sooner and with a grand prize-thank goodness!

With James I knew he was coming early, I didn't know how early, just knew that he would be early.  It was a wonderful surprise going to the hospital that night and finding out we wouldn't be leaving the hospital without our baby.

With Katelynn, I knew she would be early too.  I didn't think it would be as early as she came, but she came. She was ready too.

They both would have been really good sized babies if they had come around their due date.

This time I have been getting progesterone shots in the hopes that my baby would stay in a little longer.  We stopped those last week because I have been having reactions to the shots.  We'll see soon enough if they made any difference.

I have a feeling this one will be early too, not too early I hope, but we will see.  These babies definitely come when they want to.

Also, a few other things.  My babies so far have come fast.  James was born three hours after my water broke, after only 2 maybe 3 pushes.  Katelynn came after 4 hours-I was very grateful for the epidural which helped to hold labor pains back long enough so that she could get all the medication needed just in case I was Group B positive.  This time I am debating whether or not to get an epidural-but whatever I decide, I want to be satisfied with the decision I make and not feel like my labor is any less miraculous than the lady down the hall who is screaming her head off because she didn't get an epidural.

Katelynn's story (short version)
I had had some contractions at home and decided we needed to get to the hospital soon in case the baby came before I got enough antibiotics pumped in and before the pains got too awful.  I got to the hospital, got an epidural, laid in bed and watched the contractions go crazy, slept, talked to Trevor, watched Trevor eat candy and treats, 4 hours later after two pushes, I held my sweet Katelynn. And because she was 4 weeks early they took her to the NICU fairly quickly after that and I had to go there to see her for a day and a half.

After writing that, I remember all the emotions of that day and it was miraculous and wonderful.  How in the early morning hours, I remember a very distinct feeling or impression that Trevor's mom, who only 4 months before had died in an accident, was with our precious girl giving her last minute words of wisdom and encouragement and loving her before she made her way to our family.  And I hope that Katelynn(and James and all my children) always knows that they have a whole other group of people who are cheering for them and who want them to make it and who love them more than they know.

I remember worrying and wondering if she would be okay because she was a little early and hoping that she would be and feeling so grateful when I heard her cries because her lungs were okay.

And I remembered the blessing Trevor had given me at home before we went to the hospital that said "all things would work themselves out in time" and I held to that when I started worrying too much.  And when it was time to push, I was very excited and anxious to see our precious girl.  Then I was so excited that James would get to meet her. And I was anxious to be able to keep her in our room instead of making the very short trip to the NICU to feed her every two hours.

Writing these random thoughts down, I feel better and hope that sleep will come quickly now.  No matter how my next labor story goes, it is still miraculous and worthy to be recorded and remembered and shared.  And if my babies come early and fast and are okay, its okay that I didn't have to wait an extra 5 or 6 or even 7 weeks.


All that said, I am excited to meet this new babe and have another child running around our home driving us crazy and have another little one to love.  We will be posting pictures when the time comes, hopefully not in the next 24 hours. :)